


doctor you

by changjaes (moonemoji), moonemoji



Category: BTOB
Genre: M/M, like i don't even know if teen and up is the proper rating how do i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 23:50:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11428824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonemoji/pseuds/changjaes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonemoji/pseuds/moonemoji
Summary: cuddling by the fire made winter seem a lot more worth it, especially with someone so beautiful.





	doctor you

  
changsub loved ilhoon's hand.  
  
han _d_ with no s at the end, as in only one of his hands, because changsub only loved ilhoon's left hand. his left hand was kinder, gentler, it was the hand that brushed his hair away from his eyes and cupped the side of his face when ilhoon wanted to tell him something important. ilhoon's right, on the other hand, squeezed too hard and shoved his head out of the way, pushed him when he wasn't wanted and became a barrier between him and ilhoon at times.  
  
but he learned to live with it and eventually ilhoon's hands just became hands who didn't have their own personalities. they became hands that were his to hold and to kiss and to love as he did now.  
  
he loved the way ilhoon's fingers curled around his own as if there were nowhere else for ilhoon to go (which he'd been told many times was what ilhoon wanted as a reality).  
  
from his knuckles, to his fingertips, to the dip in his palm, changsub loved every part of ilhoon's hand, but he didn't love anything about them more than the way they seemed to flush with colour at the brush of changsub's lips against its skin. as if his mouth were a fountain of life and he didn't want anyone in the world to be alive but him and ilhoon in every moment that there was.  
  
and changsub was never too great an artist but still he drew ilhoon's hands because they were so beautiful that they had to be captured somehow, and a lack of artistic ability wouldn't stop him from doing so.  
  
sometimes, while he was in the middle of a drawing, ilhoon would ask "do you love my hands more than you love me?" and changsub would laugh, kiss ilhoon's cheek and assure him that he loved ilhoon as a whole, his voice lighthearted but serious even if the question were only a joke.  
  
the truth is that sometimes changsub wondered the same thing, questioned if he would love ilhoon as he did if his hands weren't so beautiful. he always came to the conclusion that loving someone for their hands alone was absurd, and of all things, hands? it couldn't be. even with his appreciation for ilhoon's hands, it would never reach that extent.  
  
but still, a small doubt of his answer always tugged at the back of his mind.  
  
—  
  
winter was rolling in and as much as changsub loved the sting of reddened cheeks against cool air, he couldn't wait for the season to end.  
  
truthfully it had gotten more difficult since none of the gloves at their home could fit ilhoon anymore. whenever he came home, changsub had to hold, blow on and kiss ilhoon's hands until they no longer felt like two blocks of ice he had just grabbed from his freezer.  
  
not everything about winter was terrible, though. not the hot chocolate or cuddling by the fire, not even the christmas tv movies that ran for what seemed to be the entire season, even once christmas had passed.  
  
one of the versions of 'a christmas carol' was playing in the background while changsub drew ilhoon's hands yet again. after a year and some months of drawing them, changsub had gotten fairly good. he even started doing shadows to make them look more realistic.  
  
he could never draw the ends of ilhoon's hands properly, though, but he didn't mind it very much since his adoration belonged to his hands alone and not to his wrists.  
  
to draw them from behind was always more of a challenge, with the bone being the easiest part and he serrated circle of skin that surrounded the flesh always turning out to look as if a child had drawn it.  
  
the first time changsub had drawn ilhoon's hands alone, blood was still dripping from th exposed flesh and muscle that not yet had the time to dry. a drop of it fell on the drawing and to this day, it remains changsub's favourite.  
  
but this was months ago, and there would be no more drops dripping from the beautiful hands, as even they were mortal in nature. only last week did changsub notice that they were beginning to gray, and the observation made him sad, made him want to draw ilhoon's hands more before he had nothing left.  
  
"one day i'll draw it perfectly," changsub said, a small pout in the way his mouth set, "you deserve to be drawn perfectly."  
  
he picked up the left hand and sat on the couch comfortably, finding a comfort in the way ilhoon's hand rest against his chest as if it were meant to do so for the rest of its life.  
  
cuddling by the fire made winter seem a lot more worth it, especially with someone so beautiful.


End file.
